The Wife – Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller


A woman should be her husband’s friend, while keeping a respectful shyness towards him, avoiding arguing with him, obeying his word in everything lawful. She should hold her peace when he speaks, keep his honor when he is away, and not treacherously take his property. She should smell pleasant, care well for her teeth and clothes, be content with her standard of living, be tender and loving, and keep up her appearance. She should honor his family and relatives, be appreciative for him, accept his deeds with gratitude, and show him her happiness when she sees him. She should give her husband first priority and attention rather than her children. Otherwise, husbands eventually get tired of being ignored, spend increasingly long hours away from home, and begin talking about divorce or getting a second wife.

As a Muslim woman, she should prefer to be in her own home, taking care of her house and children, making sure that both are clean and orderly. She should learn her religion to properly practice it and raise her children Islamically. Her ambition should lie in perfecting herself. She should faithfully perform her prayer and fasting, study her own faults, and think of her religion. She should speak little, not waste time on pointless conversations, and lower her gaze. She should be vigilant of her Lord, make much dhikr, encourage her husband to seek and earn the halal, and not ask for many gifts from him. She should be shy and modest, neither harsh or coarse in word, have fortitude, be thankful, prefer others to herself, and be generous with herself and her effort. If a friend of her husband calls when he is not at home, she does not admit him, seek to understand his purpose, or speak with him at length-out of jealousy for her honor and that of her husband.

-Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller


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